Archives For 0 – 3.9 (Avoid)

Strippers vs Werewolves is a British horror comedy that follows a pack of werewolves as they go on a revenge mission to a local strip club.

I’m going to tell you straight away; this is an appalling film. I mean, it was never going to be amazing, but on paper it had the potential to become an underground cult hit, or at least one of those ‘so-bad-they’re-awesome’ films that make great viewing over a take-away after a night out.

Don’t be fooled by Robert Englund’s name on the cover – he has a brief and irrelevant cameo which has been forced in shamelessly to pull in a few easily lead horror fans, which, I’m ashamed to admit, included me.

So they cheaped out on Englund, but they were on a tight budget. Now, glamour model Lucy Pinder, in a stripper movie. How could anyone get that wrong? Well, they did. She doesn’t take her top off once! Why hire someone who is famous for her topless pictures and awarding winning breasts, and then keep her clothes on! I mean, how much would it have really cost? Hell, she probably arrived on the set topless.

The writing is sloppy and dull, with unimaginative dialogue which is delivered flatly, with no emotion or attention to timing. The costumes and make up are terrible, I’m not sure if they made them deliberately bad in an attempt to add to the comic element, but it didn’t work, it just looks lazy and tacky. The production quality is substandard, getting noticeably worse towards the end. The sound production was especially amateurish, with noises delayed, sometimes by several seconds and the vocals out of sync. The films 15 certificate is a serious downfall.

There are a few parts that could, with some development, have been okay, but as it stands you’d struggle to find a worse way to use an hour and a half. I have watched some truly bad movies in my time, Strippers vs Werewolves has won itself a high-ranking place on that list.

Our Rating: 2.2 / 10

The Devil Inside

January 16, 2012 — 12 Comments

Directed by William Brent Bell, who brought us the surprisingly successful, straight-to-DVD, budget horror, Stay Alive in 2006 comes The Devil Inside. This movie tells the story of a young women who travels to Italy in an attempt to find out what happened to her mother twenty years earlier during her own exorcism.

The Devil Inside joins the current cliché of countless Mockumentary horror films, combining grainy hand-held recordings with poor lit surveillance footage in yet another unoriginal and uninspired movie that ironically due to some truly inspired and innovative marketing, will no doubt snare moviegoers and part them from their cash.

There are a few positives, well two. First, the camera work, lighting and sets collaborate nicely and are remarkably effective in making the viewer feel intensely claustrophobic, establishing a frightening and gloomy atmosphere. Second, The Devil Within stars London based contortionist, Pixie Le Knot. Pixie is beautifully upsetting and disturbing on a level that will genuinely make you cringe. I hope we see a lot more of her work in the future.

The Devil Inside does have a few decent jumps but overall it’s tired idea and will no doubt become lost in the shadow of its predecessors that have done a much better job. The acting is mediocre, but the script certainly has to take the blame for such flat characters. It is rare for the characters in a film to become less developed and less interesting as a story unfolds, but The Devil Within manages it with ease. However, the real draw back is the ending, which isn’t bad so much as it is just abrupt or perhaps even missing. There’s no third act; instead, we are treated to website address where we can learn more about what happened, brilliant.

Cue the slowest credits in cinematic history.

Our Rating: 3.5 / 10

Chillerama

December 4, 2011 — 9 Comments

Set in a drive in theatre on its last night before closing, the audience park their cars in front of a grainy projection screen and tune their radios into the short wave audio, preparing for a movie marathon of rare, low budget horror films. This B movie anthology includes four mini features; Wadzilla, I was a Teenage Werebear, The Diary Of Anne Frankenstein and Zom-B-movie.

Chillerama combines deliberately cheap special effects, purposely tongue in cheeky, distasteful dialogue, a range of film styles, busty women in clothes clearly two sizes to small and Ray Wise. An explicit, gory movie, purposely paying homage to all the bad taste, B horror movies of the past and giving the viewer a visual tour of the genre spanning decades. On paper, this intriguing and exciting movie promises a lot, there has been much anticipation and marketing for Chillerama, including a successful roadshow tour of America.

Its easy to see what  Chillerama has  tried to achieve, and people involved obviously had a lot of fun making it. Sadly, what they’ve given us is a clumsy, dreary movie that plods along. There is a lot in this film, from black and white nazi’s that have stepped right out of the DPP index to musical numbers and gay interest, but it feels as they’ve gone for quantity over quality, cramping in too many ideas without really exploring them. The whole thing just doesn’t glue well. That said, I did laugh a few times and the zombie subplot that fills between the mini features is slightly more entertaining, which ultimately leads onto the fourth and probably the strongest of the mimi features,  Zom-B-Movie.

Overall A disappointing collection of shorts, that I suspect for most, will be difficult to sit through.

Our Rating: 3.9 / 10